Dream Life Connection

Ep. 12 Listen To This When You're Comparing Yourself And Experiencing Imposter Syndrome

• Andrea Morrison • Season 2 • Episode 8

Share episode

I don't think there's a single human that doesn't compare themselves to other people. If you often find yourself in a negative comparison loop - and suffering from imposter syndrome - you are not alone, and there are several ways to reframe these feelings. Consider this episode your pep talk to get you inspired and motivated again, if you ever feel like giving up on your endeavors!

In this episode, I share tons of practical tips, as well as my own journey of becoming a coach and how I've learned to reframe my imposter syndrome. You'll hear tips like having a mantra, mirror pep talks, flipping the comparison around, having a buddy system, and many more.

If you ever find yourself feeling doubt, KEEP GOING. 💙

Om So Hum Mantra Meditation 

*********************************************************************

Thank you so much for listening, it truly means the world to me. I would love to connect with you!

Instagram: @dreamlifeconnection
Website: Dream Life Connection
Work With Me: Mentoring & Strategy Sessions

60+ modern magic tricks + free guidebooks: Receive Magic Here

Grateful for you. You are MAGIC! ✨

With love,
Andrea

Andrea [00:00:01]:

Hello and welcome to Dream Life Connection, your hub for magical personal development. I'm Andrea Morrison. This podcast is a blend of whimsical and grounding topics that will inspire you to live the life of your dream. In each episode, we'll take a mini journey through a dreamy topic, learn some modern magic tricks, and I'll share my stories as a wandering nomad dream guide and virtual alchemist. Thank you so much for being here. I would love to connect with you at dreamlifeconnection.com and @dreamlifeconnection on Instagram. You are meant to be here. 

Andrea [00:00:41]:

Welcome back. Welcome to Dream Life Connection. I'm always so happy to have you here. Oh, my gosh, you guys, it is so fall right now. It feels so cozy and wonderful here in Bulgaria. It's getting a lot colder. The leaves aren't really turning color quite yet. I see a little bit of yellow.

Andrea [00:01:02]:

But I'm here all snuggled up in my sweats and my slippers. I've got my hot tea, I've got the best cozy Ambiance video playing with a fireplace and a cat purring and some coffee and pumpkins, and I just feel so good. I love fall, but I'm not going to lie, it is very cold and I'm actually not a big fan of being cold for very long. Like, I love this part where it's just starting to transition, but I can only do it for so long and I am not a snow bunny. I love the warmth. So I am counting down the days until my boyfriend and I get on a flight and go back to Vietnam and I cannot wait. I think when this episode publishes, it'll be 19 days until we go. Yes, I'm counting down the days and I'm so excited.

Andrea [00:01:56]:

I love Bulgaria, but I really love Vietnam and I can't wait to be back at the beach. And just a quick little life update. Life has been really just great, to be honest. It's been so nice. I've been diving so deep into my business and my client work and it's feeling so good and aligned and I feel I don't know what it is, but I just feel so good about it all. I don't know. And that's kind of why I wanted to do this episode on Comparison and Impostor Syndrome, because I have been feeling so down and doubtful about everything for so long and I finally feel like I'm getting over that. Maybe not even getting over it, but really reframing my thoughts on comparison.

Andrea [00:02:58]:

I've been working so hard on my business and it just feels really good. And even last night I did a dreamwork workshop for a membership and it went so well and I've done this workshop a couple of times and I was always really nervous when I was giving the talk. And then last night, I don't know what came over me, but I think I'm a lot more confident now in what I'm doing, what I'm talking about and how I'm teaching people. And there was something that overcame me and it just flowed and I felt so great. And I'm really excited too, because I'm going to provide that Masterclass to my own network and not just do it within other people's memberships. I'm going to provide a Masterclass all about Dreamwork for my own network. And I'm really excited because I finally feel ready to do that. And it's been a long road to get here, but that's why I want to talk about this on this episode because let's just jump right in.

Andrea [00:04:01]:

Comparison Impostor Syndrome, it's a topic that is always prevalent and it's a topic that's really prevalent right now for some reason. I've had a lot of conversations recently with friends and clients about comparison and the feeling that you maybe don't deserve to have what you have or to get to the place that you want to be. But the thing about comparison and Impostor Syndrome, it's sad to say this, but it is a part of the process. It's inevitable it's going to happen. And I don't think that there's anyone that does not compare, especially as a business owner. It's actually one of the first things you have to do. You have to compare yourself to other businesses. It's literally your job to compare.

Andrea [00:04:54]:

And this can get into dangerous territory. Like I said, I'm not trying to eliminate this feeling. I'm just trying to reframe it or twist it to work in my benefit. When you're starting out a business, for example, you're doing competitive analysis and so you're looking at other businesses, what they're doing, how it's working, and yes, it is kind of dangerous territory because then you start comparing it to yourself and you're like, I'm not doing that. Should I be doing that? Maybe I don't want to do that or I'm not doing it well enough. And I had a conversation with a friend recently, and she's starting to get into a different industry. She's pursuing a new industry, and she said a phrase that I think we have all said, which is, well, it's already so saturated and there's all these people that are already doing it, and they're so much better than I am, so why even bother? Why should I even try? I'm like, oh, this sounds familiar. I've said this so many times, and I'm sure you have too.

Andrea [00:05:59]:

It is a part of the process. It's something we all think. And I went down this slope so many times as I was developing my brand, and I would put myself in the personal development, specifically the Dreamwork niches. And even in the Dreamwork field, even though it's a smaller field, in my opinion, there are still so many experts with years and years and years of experience. I mean, these people have books, they've got Ted Talks, they've even got segments on national news talking about dreams. And so when I was starting out with Dream Life Connection, I kind of wanted to give up. I was like, why even bother? Like, I'm this baby in the dreamwork field. But then I realized that's actually not true.

Andrea [00:06:52]:

Yes, maybe I'm a baby, but I'm growing. I'm growing a lot in this industry, and that's important to remember. And something that's really helped me is instead of viewing these people that I'm comparing myself to as competition or people to kind of challenge or someone that I need to be on the same level as, I reframe it as they are my inspiration, if they can do it, so can I. Seriously, if they can do it, so can I. That's a really good phrase to have in your mind and remind yourself, if they can do it, so can I. And yes, there are some people, it seems like maybe they have some advantages or privileges, and it makes it almost like it's not really fair. They just have it really easy. And I've had some advantages along the way, but I have essentially built my current life from the ground up, and I'm really proud of that.

Andrea [00:07:54]:

And no, I'm no Mel Robbins or Gabby Bernstein, but that does not mean that I shouldn't even try to keep growing. You never know. You never know. So take a look at what you're doing and use the people that you're comparing yourself to as inspiration. And here's another trap that I've fallen into. Maybe you're looking at some of those more quote unquote successful people and you think they don't even deserve it. Maybe it's someone in a position at the company you work for and they don't work as hard. It's all lottie DA to them.

Andrea [00:08:32]:

They don't really care as much, or they only got hired because their dad works for the company. And it's just not fair. So if you ever feel like this, try to ask the universe, why was this person placed into my life? Why was this person placed into my timeline? And why am I comparing myself to them? And why is it triggering me so much? I mean, I totally understand that it's very frustrating when there are people that are these levels above you, yet you feel like they don't really deserve it. But there's a reason that this person is in your life, and you have to kind of do a little digging to find out what is the lesson that they're teaching me? And if you don't think they deserve that role or that book deal or that spotlight in a magazine, use that as motivation and remind yourself that when, not if, when you get to that position that you're going to deserve it, you have earned it, and you will be grateful. And you're probably going to treat the whole experience differently because of this experience with this other person that maybe you view as unfair. So really quickly, I want to give a quick little backstory to show some of my growth. So a little over a year ago, my boyfriend and I were in Portugal, and I was making $0. Nothing.

Andrea [00:09:59]:

I had no income, nothing. For a long time. I was living off of my savings, and I was honestly wondering if I should just give up on my dream life. I knew I wanted to teach dream work to people and really help people manifest their dream life. And I'm like, I'm such a fraud. I am not even making money. Yet here I am, trying to be this life coach for people. I was a total newbie coach, not knowing what I was doing.

Andrea [00:10:28]:

Actually, this wasn't a year ago. This was like, gosh, time is so weird. Time is flying by. This was like, two years ago. And I did eventually get hired by some friends. But now I am literally having to turn away clients because I'm too busy. I'm making more money than I was making at my corporate job. And I remind myself, you have to start somewhere.

Andrea [00:10:54]:

It takes baby steps. And I still have a long way to go, don't get me wrong, but I'm doing my best to be mindful along the way. And I remember that small actions do pay off. It all builds up. So all those people you're comparing yourself to, I'd bet 99% of them started off struggling, too. I'd bet 100% of them started off struggling. They didn't decide, oh, I'm going to be a motivational speaker, and then get on the Ted Talk stage the next day. They didn't decide, I want to write a book and then end up on the New York Times bestsellers list the next day.

Andrea [00:11:32]:

It takes time. It takes that first talk in front of ten people. It takes writing that first page. So also remember that those people we're comparing ourselves to, they're comparing themselves to other people. They're fighting their own battles. You don't think that Mel Robbins and Gabby Bernstein and Tony Robbins, they're not comparing themselves to other people thinking, oh, my gosh, I'm not doing this, I should be. That it's just human nature. It's something we all do.

Andrea [00:12:01]:

And since I'm in the personal development industry, I am surrounded, surrounded by so many coaches and gurus, and they just seem like they know exactly what they're doing. They appear to be super polished. And it's almost to the point where I've even asked, are they even real? Are these people even real? Like, they seem too good to be true. Like, how have they gotten to where they are? And here I am, little Andrea, trying to make my mark in my field. But I have progressed so much since I first started, and I'm really proud of that. And I'm actually going to host my first Masterclass about dreamwork I mentioned earlier, I'm going to host it in November, and this is a huge step for me, and I'm going to later host a group program in January. And the fact that I'm even saying this right now. The fact that I'm even putting this out right now is huge because I have wanted to do this type of stuff for a long time, but I've hidden.

Andrea [00:13:06]:

I've been afraid. I've been thinking. I'm not qualified enough. I've never done this before. I've coached one on one. I've done talks in memberships. I've done various things, but I've never actually hosted something completely on my own for my network of people. And when my first business coach told me to lead a group program, she told me this.

Andrea [00:13:31]:

Like, gosh, this was almost four years ago. I remember thinking, there's no way I'm going to do that. No way. But it takes time. It takes effort. And you gain clarity along the way by taking these baby steps and action steps. You build the confidence as you go. Confidence does not come within a day.

Andrea [00:13:52]:

It takes those steps to build the confidence. And it's taken me years to get to this point where I'm actually excited to host this master class and offer a group program. I never thought I would get to this point, but I'm so ready for it. It scared me so much before, and I didn't think I was qualified, and I didn't see myself as a leader, and that's so different now. I actually see myself as a leader now, and I can't wait. I'm so excited, and I am making sure to not have super high expectations. Yes, I want to manifest a great community of people in the class and the program and all of that, but I'm also not attached to the outcome. Maybe no one will show up.

Andrea [00:14:44]:

Maybe no one will sign up, and that's okay. But guess what? I am taking this step, and that is amazing. That's huge for me. And I know I trust that I need to go through whatever the universe delivers so that I get stronger, and I'm not going to give up. I'm finally ready, so bring it on. And think about, what if everyone gave up because there were people doing it already or they were more polished or they were more successful? Think about how boring the world would be. Everything would be a monopoly. I mean, think about, okay, so the only coffee we can have is Starbucks.

Andrea [00:15:26]:

The only singer we can listen to right now is Taylor Swift. The only brand we can buy is Nike. The only coach we can learn from is Tony Robbins. Boring, boring, boring, boring. We need variety. There will always be big guys, but the world needs variety. We need different perspectives. We need different personalities.

Andrea [00:15:51]:

We need you. Do I sound like Tony Robbins now? I feel kind of silly, but it's true. I get really passionate about this. You are so unique, and that is your superpower. There will be people drawn to you because of who you are. There's an audience for everyone. Remind yourself of that. There is an audience for everyone, including you.

Andrea [00:16:18]:

Something else you could do. This is kind of an interesting little exercise to do, is flip it. What if someone told you that they were comparing themselves to you? So, for example, what if you were like, a web designer and someone said, I really want to be a web designer, but you're already so good at what you do, I'm not even going to try because I can't compete with people like you. I give up. How would that make you feel? Probably not very good. If someone said that to me, I would feel awful. And that's essentially what we're doing. When we compare ourselves to others, those people we're comparing ourselves to want us to succeed.

Andrea [00:17:00]:

They want us to join them. In fact, they probably have courses on how to do what they're doing. If someone said that to you, would you say, yeah, you can't do this. I'd give up if I were you. No. You'd say, yeah, it does take work, but oh my gosh, that is so exciting. Don't give up. I know you can be a web designer if you want to do that.

Andrea [00:17:22]:

Don't give up. How can I help you? So try to flip it and think about that. Like, the people we're comparing ourselves to, they want us to succeed. And if they don't, then you should not be looking up to them. They are not a good leader. So here are some tips. I mean, I feel like this episode is full of a lot of tips, but here's some kind of rapid fire tips that I keep in mind when I get into this comparison loop. And I think it's really important to have a mantra.

Andrea [00:17:52]:

And my mantra is keep going. I love that phrase. I love that phrase so much that I think I'm actually going to get it tattooed on me. I've been saying it for about six years. It's when I was working at the TV station and I was going to quit my job and go to Bali. And it was scary, it was an intense transition. But I remember one salesperson at the TV station, we were talking about it and he said, Keep going. And for some reason, it has stuck with me ever since I quit my job.

Andrea [00:18:32]:

I think of that mantra all the time. When I'm feeling down or if I feel like I want to give up, I'm like, Just keep going, keep going, keep going. And I think about back when I was living in Thailand about five years ago, there was this couple and they were video editors and they were just starting out. I think they maybe had like, one client that they were making videos for and they were scraping by, wondering if they should keep doing what they're doing. And now, five years later, they're in the multiple six figures, filming for these major influencers. They're huge now and they didn't give up. They kept going. And I always look at them thinking, okay, if they can, so can I.

Andrea [00:19:24]:

Another tip is to remember that, like I said before, there is an audience for everyone. And I think about this example of when I was looking for a business coach. There are a lot of business coaches out there. If you've ever looked for a business coach, you know that there are so many to choose from. And what I noticed is a lot of them I'm not knocking them, but a lot of them kind of have a similar look, a similar vibe, similar messaging. And I was honestly kind of turned off by that because I was like, I don't want to just follow the trends and be this mainstream kind of coach. I want someone that's unique, someone that offers something a little different, maybe looks a little different, doesn't have the trendy looks because I'm not trendy. I'm not a trendy person.

Andrea [00:20:20]:

I used to be, oh my gosh, I was such a trend follower. And now I guess I'm older now. I don't really care as much, I guess, but I know that I'm a unique person. I mean, we're all unique, but I was like, I want someone to coach me who is just as unique. So I remember that as I'm doing what I'm doing. Because a lot of times we think, oh, we have to be this way in order to have an audience or in order to have success, we have to do all the things that the successful, the mainstream people are doing. And that's not necessarily true. So just remember that there is an audience for everyone.

Andrea [00:21:03]:

Also know that you're not alone. You are definitely not alone. This is really a part of the journey of whatever it is you're doing. Comparing yourself to other people and getting that feeling of impostor syndrome that you don't deserve this. You're not alone. We all feel it. So it's really helpful to join a community that will support you or find a friend where you can just message if you're feeling down or you're getting into that comparison loop. You can contact them and just say, hey, this is how I'm feeling.

Andrea [00:21:37]:

And they'll give you a little pep talk. You can also do this with yourself. Go into the bathroom and look in the mirror and just give yourself a pep talk and tell yourself, I am amazing. Keep going, keep going. The world needs me. I do that all the time. I have to look in the mirror and remind myself like, I am magical. Keep doing what I'm doing because, yeah, maybe I don't have this huge audience, but even if I'm impacting one person in a positive way, I'm doing something right, and that is worth all the time and effort.

Andrea [00:22:13]:

And also keep in mind that time is a construct. I know this is kind of a weird little tip, but just know that everything we're told that we need to do or where we need to be or who we need to be is all made up. These time frames are made up. So remove that pressure from yourself. There's no rush. Whatever it is you want to do or whomever you want to be, it's on its way. In fact, you're already that person. Maybe you just need to bring that part of you to the surface more.

Andrea [00:22:50]:

So give yourself grace. Remember that you are enough. Even I get caught up with the whole process aspect, as in, you have somewhere you need to be that you're on the way to being this type of person, that you're not there yet, but you are good enough. Right now. There's nothing else you need to do other than be you. We get so caught up in chasing things, and we have to remember that we already are enough. For some reason, that just feels like a huge weight lifted off of me, because it's like, okay, I'm good. I'm good.

Andrea [00:23:31]:

Just keep being who you are, and let's get a little woo woo. Are you ready to get a little woo woo? If you don't like the woo woo, stop listening now. But today, actually, the past few days, I've been listening to this mantra song on YouTube. I'll include the link in the show notes because it's really beautiful, but it's this mantra that says, and this is Sanskrit for I am that. And it's all about oneness. So think about this. We are all one. I am you and you are me.

Andrea [00:24:10]:

So those people that you're comparing yourself to, they are you. We're all connected. Maybe we could even think of them as us in a different timeline or dimension, however you want to perceive it. I know that sounds like a little out there, but honestly, it kind of helps with this whole process. And it reminds me of dream work. When you dream of a specific person, you're not dreaming about that person. I mean, this is a theory. I'm not saying this as 100% fact, but this is what I believe, that you're not dreaming about that specific person.

Andrea [00:24:48]:

You're dreaming about that part of you. So these people that you are comparing yourself to are already a part of us. And it creates a sense of peace. And it's kind of like, all right, if they're doing this, it means I can too. It's almost like we need to show them gratitude instead of feel small next to them. Show them gratitude because they're paving the way. They're proving that it can be done. Om.

Andrea [00:25:15]:

So I am that. All right, I think that's it. I think I'm done with my little Ted Talk. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. I see you. I support you. I value you. I appreciate all that you're doing.

Andrea [00:25:37]:

The world appreciates all that you're doing. Don't give up. Keep going. The world needs you. The world needs your magic. Thank you so much for being here. Have a wonderful week, and don't forget your magic. Bye bye.

Andrea [00:25:51]:

Thank you so, so much for being here. It truly means the world to me. If you'd like to receive even more magic, be sure to subscribe to my Magic Monday newsletter@dreamlifeconnection.com. While you're there, take a look around and see if any of my offerings speak to you. I offer one to one guidance business, alchemy, dream therapy, and tarot card readings. So if you're looking for even more magic, you're in the right place. Oh, and be sure to look for the little white rabbit somewhere on my website to receive a fun surprise. I would love to connect with you.

Andrea [00:26:26]:

You can always find me at Dreamlife Connection on Instagram. And never forget, you are magic.

People on this episode

Head Shot

Andrea Morrison

Host